Thanks to all you darling little suck ups who thought of your math grades this Valentine's Day. That said, I'd like to call your attention at large to page 2 of my syllabus, which clearly states my policy on bribes.
In what I suspect is a related vein, I'll also take this opportunity to remind you of your impending unit tests. To those in whom the concept of a math assessment inspires panic and cold sweats, I strongly encourage you to show your face during my office hours, or to turn your bribing efforts toward one of your peers in exchange for a few extra hours of study help.
Alternatively, if you have an A or a B in my class, there is forever a shortage of one-on-one math tutors, and I do offer extra points to those charitable souls who sign up to help their less-fortunate classmates. Food for thought.
